Stage of Relationship Reflection Paper Example

There are five stages of Relationship. The first is friendship, love, intimacy, and singlehood, the second is dating ,mate selection, and living together. The third is marriage, the fourth is parenthood, and the last is a midlife and older couple.

My Stage of Relationship

I currently just switched between stages. I was in the dating stage, however since my relationship has ended I am back in the single stage. “Both Friendships and romantic relationships involve a true bond with another person, and we might say these folks truly get you” (Olson et al. pg.242 2022).  The first part about being in my stage is the friendships. Olson et al, (2022) stated that there are eight important elements in the fabric of friendships, and those include: enjoyment, acceptance, trust, respect, mutual assistance, confiding, understanding and spontaneity (pg.242-243). Even though I do not have friends here at college I do have close friends back home. We enjoy each other’s company and we accept each other. They do not care that I have ptsd, and depression, and I don’t have a problem with one of my friends sexual orientation. We also trust one another. When one of us has a problem we go to each other, even if it is something we do not want to hear and we respect that. We support each other equally and I can go to them if I have a problem and they will understand. When I was going through my break up I thought to myself how much I wanted to be with someone and just hang out with them. Then I reserved a message from my best friend when I was coming in. It was like she could read my mind even being 86 miles away. When it comes to my dating relationship I would say that we had an intimate experience, but not an intimate relationship. I always called him when I was sad, happy, or excited about something, and he always called me when he was upset. However, he never would hold my hand, or kiss me, and that was a struggle because all I wanted to do was to feel closer to him. We had poor communication skills and he had a difficult time with flexibility in our relationship. He was unable to handle stress and could not respond accordingly to the stressful situation. I have recently tried online dating. “Digital technology, and smartphones in particular, continues to transform our society, and this includes how people develop romantic relationships” (Olson et al., 2022 pg. 247). Through online dating I did meet someone. However, I just want to be friends with him right now because I do not think I am ready to carry on a relationship at this time. Olsen et al., (2022) gives some advice for people who are lonely such as: Appraise your strengths, develop a friendship network, take a chance, don’t expect too much, depend on yourself, rejoin your family, and find an outside interest (pg.264-265). I think the first step in healing my past relationship is for me to learn to be okay with being alone. I need to find friends at my college so that way I can have support when I need it. I need to not expect too much on finding the perfect guy. I think I put too much pressure on myself to find someone already because almost everyone in my family is in a relationship. However, all their relationships have ended in break up or divorce, so maybe I just need to learn a lesson and slow down. I am only 21 and I have plenty of time to find the right person. In the meantime I can focus on finding and developing hobbies and interests that I like, and that can make me happy.

Biblical Principles

I believe that there are a few biblical principles that are important to my stage. The first would be developing my faith and trust with God. I believe that I need to have a good relationship with him before becoming interested in a romantic relationship. I need to have an understanding of my faith's principles and be willing to follow those principles. A person who tries to get me to go against my faith and what I believe in would not be the right person for me. In church we learn that we must be married and multiply the Earth because that is what God created us to do. However, he also created us to be his sons and daughters and to love him the way that he loved us.

Easiest/ Difficult Part of My Stage of Life

The easiest part of this stage in my life is not having any responsibilities. “Although many wish to be married someday, there are also substantial numbers of people who are enjoying being single and taking advantage of the opportunities available when there are no responsibilities to a spouse or family,” (Olson et al., 2022, pg.262). Just like stated in this quote from the book I like not having any responsibilities. I can sleep in when I want to. I also only have myself to take care of and to spend my money and time on. I can stay out all night and not worry about anyone else, or I can go to school and get my degree without any distractions. The most difficult part about being on my stage is making friends. Making friends in a new location is hard for me. I do not have an easy time trusting people, and it could have something to do with my PTSD at times. I feel like sometimes I am too broken or messed up to have people who would want to be my friends. Oftentimes I make friends and something happens like they move away or even pass away. I think this is something that is a part of my life that I can work on and improve.

Part of the Stage of Life I Have Mastered & Still Growing In

The part of the stage of relationship that I have mastered is communication. I feel that I have grown tremendously in this area. I have been through an excessive amount of counseling to know how and when to communicate. I know that I cannot just assume I know what people are thinking or how they will react to me. I also know that I cannot control how they react to a situation, and it is not my palace to control that. The part of the stage of the relationship that I still need to grow on is like I said earlier friends, and being willing to be trustworthy of new people that I come in contact with.

Things I Need For The Next Stage of Life

The next stage for me would be dating, and mate selection. I have already been through this stage a little bit. However, when I enter this stage again I hope that I have the necessary skills to be able to make it through this stage. I also believe that it is okay to need to start over in this stage more than once. The things I need to be doing to adequately prepare for it is figuring out what my values and beliefs are. Learning what I will allow in a relationship and what I will not allow. Also, taking things that I have learned in my past relationship and seeing how I can improve those things in my future relationships. I believe that learning from my past will give me the skills I need to help get me through the next stage of relationships.

References

Olson David H. John Defrain, & Linda Skogrand. (2022). Marriages and Families: Intimacy, Diversity, and Strengths. Tenth edition McGraw Hill LLC.

American Psychological Association. (2020) Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association. Seventh Edition, American Psychological Association.