Identity Essay Example: My Parents Divorce

Before a person’s identity is chosen, individuals go through a process, whether it is wanted on them or not, that helps determine their identity. A person’s identity is made up of commitments made by the individual. Marcia recognized four personality situations with Identity Achievement, Identity Foreclosure, Moratorium, and Identity Diffusion (Feldman, 2019). Erikson was a developmental psychologist who had some expertise in child psychoanalysis and was most popular for his hypothesis of psychosocial development. Many people have a hard time trying to decide where they fit in. Even though I will live the life so many people will live, I have personal experiences that have shaped me to the person I am today. The biggest thing that has happened in my life so far, is finding out I have PCOS. Another huge thing I have experienced is deciding I want to be a travel hospice nurse. Another thing that greatly impacted my life was my parents divorce. I think that both Erkison and Marcia are both completely right. However I side more with Marcia. Whereas I agree growing up everyone goes through the same process, boys become men and girls become women. We all learn to eat, crawl, speak, walk, go to the bathroom, start school, and so forth. In the meanwhile also learn how to trust someone, grow confidence, learn to initiate things, how to identify someone's role in your life and ect. As with Marica’s point of view I feel realistic and braod.  These basic skills and values that were necessary to successfully resolve my identity crisis.

The biggest thing that has really affected my life was finding out I have PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome disease also known as PCOS “is a hormonal disorder common among women of reproductive age.” Since I was a very young child I have always had long, dark, thick hair and when I was about 12 I started to grow really bad facial hair. It would make me so insure that I would and still do shave it away. I was also really big for my age but would never eat a whole lot. I was doing everything the other kids were doing and could never lose the weightI would bring up with my mom on many occasions that I thought something was wrong with my body and all she would say is that it was normal, it was probably just hormones. By having trust that my Dr. would do what she thought was best for me I told her what I had been experiencing and I got all the help she could give me. By having proper communication with my Dr. she explained to my mom what was going on. Knowing this has answered a lot of my questions about my body. Finding out I had PCOS  helped boost my confidence because I knew it was something that I had no control over to begin with. When finding out, my Dr. put me on medication and birth control to help regulate my period, and help me get rid of extra water weight that my body was just holding in. In this time of my life, I feel like the biggest thing that helped me was having trust in my primary care and by using my communication skills, and I trusted the people around me I got the help I needed. 

Another huge time in my life was figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. When I was in tenth grade, my grandma had leukemia cancer and it was the hardest thing I have ever seen. Trips to columbia every week, 2-4 times. Chemotherapy once a week, sick everyday, growing weaker and weaker as the days kept going. Finally the day came where she passed. From this point on I knew that I wanted to take care of people and wanted to be someone that others could rely on. I went home and looked into the different kinds of nursing fields, and found out about hospice nurses. Although no one wants to see a loved one leave, when my grandma passed away I don’t know why but I couldn’t cry.  I knew this was the perfect job for me because as itpapers someone for death I feel like I could handle it. I wanted a job where I could care for someone, and I believe that no one should have to go through death on their own. These events showed me it was okay to show compassion to myself and others while showing me that when one thing dies another thing starts to sprout.  

Softball and dance is something that I really got into when my parents divorced. Going back and forth to my moms and dads made keeping track of everything together difficult, but it really teached me how to be responsible. I devoted most of my time to traveling softball. Spending every Monday, Tuesday, and Saturday at practice, and dancing every wednesday. It allowed me to escape reality and focus more on the fun things. “Exercise causes your body to release endorphins, the chemicals in your brain that relieve pain and stress. It also reduces the levels of stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline” (WebMD, 2021). Everyday for the first month, all I heard was “look on the brightside”, so that is what I tried to do. I realized I had a mother and father both, who both provided me with a roof over my head, other children to play with, and two of everything I needed. With my parents splitting up it made me keep a positive mind in the game and in life has taught me that if I can see it in my head I can make it happen if I really want to.

Your identity is what makes you unique. Erikson and Maricas stages describe what people go through to identify themselves. Letting everyone choose what path they go down, and how they react and see what outcomes play out. The biggest thing that has really affected my life was finding out I have PCOS, but communication and trusting others is the lesson I got out of it. Another huge time in my life was figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. These events showed me it was okay to show compassion to myself and others while showing me that when one thing dies another thing starts to sprout. With my parents splitting up it made me keep a positive mind in the game and in life. These basic skills and values that were necessary to successfully resolve my identity crisis.

Reference page

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) - Symptoms and causes. (2020, October 3). Mayo Clinic.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pcos/symptoms-causes/syc-20353439?msclkid=f6d21221c43211ecb5b0f8caeb452766

Feldman, R. S. (2019). Development Across the LifeSpan (9th Edition). Pearson Education (US). https://online.vitalsource.com/books/9780135172964

Benefits of Sports for Mental Health. (2021, March 25). WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/benefits-of-sports-for-mental-health?msclkid=60d5e333c44411ecbe57bc6308bae759.