How My Parent Divorce Changed My Life (Essay Example)

While it made me stronger, My parents murderous divorce changed everything. At the time I no longer trusted love, I didn't know how to deal with conflict with others. Due to the fact that growing up while being surrounded by constant screaming and constant police tends to take a toll on a young child's mind. I was despondent and I was scared to be at home. 

Under the harsh circumstances I was put through at the time, I did not trust love. I was scared of it turning around and doing what it had done to my parents, It broke them and it destroyed my family. I had faith that love would fix things between my parents. Unfortunately it didn't and when I realized that, I became bitter, I was scared to love anything and anyone. I was so angry that I didn't realize I was starting to mimic the behavior of my parents. Ultimately affecting my relationships later on down the line. 

Whenever problems arose with my friends. The first thing I would do is namecall, name calling turned into yelling, and yelling eventually turned into me getting so mad that I would grab thighs and start breaking them. Eventually I would calm down, then five miniutels laters I started getting hot headed again. This was a never ending cycle for a couple of years, and it only got worse. The worst was when my parents were arguing and the police showed up at my house and I got into it with them. I was yelling and screaming at them and I was so mad I had started to cry, that was followed by wailing for hours. Shortly after the incident I became pessimistic and spiraled into a rut. I was lost and I didnt know what to do with myself anymore. 

As a result of being extremely depressed, I stopped caring for myself. I stopped practicing good hygiene, My concern for my appearance stopped as well. I hated being at home, the fear of my parents getting into it again stopped me from doing some of the most basic tasks. Whenever I took a shower, I thought I could hear them yelling. I would quickly turn off the shower to only hear silence, It was just in my head. I was going mad, I needed to be away from home and that's what I did. I started keeping myself really occupied with after school activities, such as baseball or band. Unfortunately after all that was done I obviously had to go back home. Something that kept me relaxed was music. I had gotten headphones as a gift and I would keep them on all the time at home, especially when my parents argued. 

After many nights of me staying up late trying to drown out the screeches of my parents. It all came to a close my freshman year of highschool, Did things get better ? somewhat. Although something clicked in my mind. “Everything happens for a reason '' I told myself. I started looking at it like Life had beaten me to the floor and it was giving me two options. Either stay down or get back up and fight,I chose to fight. I started caring for myself and I started having compassion for others. I wasn't going to let my parents actions dictate who I was going to be.

In essence, the events that lead up to my parents divorce was tragic. It had major impacts on me and altered  the way I saw love and affected the way I communicated with people. Even though I will always be burdened with sadness by these events, I strive to prevail and grow and not let the past have an effect on my future. Alright my goals of doing this will not be easy, It is vital for my well being and personal happiness.