The Effects of Divorce Free Essay Example

Divorce has a major impact on spouses, children, and family connections. Spouses can have both positive and negative effects from the divorce. Children, however, tend to only have negative effects which often continue in adulthood. The effects on family cohesion and connection are much the same.

Let us start off with the impact divorce has on the separating couple, both as parents and as individuals. Often spouses feel overwhelmed during the process of divorce, especially if the non-initiator decides to make things difficult for the initiating spouse. If the non-initiator decides to make things difficult it can be almost impossible to get things before a judge, some of the ways they might do this is by not turning up for court, hiding from process servers, and other actions that can cause the process of divorce and/or custody to drag on (Documentary Central). Parents can often feel brokenhearted over the perceived loss of their children during the process of divorce. This can be caused by lost custody and by experiencing the process of parent alienation. Parent alienation is “The set of behaviors a parent will do to try to distance their children or hurt the relationship between the child and the other parent” this experience can be subtle, such as the custodial parent only referring to the noncustodial parent by pronouns to undermine their role as a parent (Documentary Central). Custodial parents color how their children see the events of the divorce. The children want to believe their parent is telling the truth and because of that the child’s behavior toward the noncustodial parent is affected (Documentary Central). Despite this “It is unlikely that anyone, even the initiator, finds divorce a painless process” (Lauer & Lauer). Aside from these negative impacts of divorce spouses can also experience some positive outcomes as well. These positive outcomes include things such as personal growth, optimism, spiritual comfort, improved communication and conflict skills, as well as others (Lauer & Lauer). While not everyone is equally likely to have these positive outcomes many will view their divorce as a positive turning point and a necessary step towards their own well-being (Lauer & Lauer).

One of the impacts of divorce that children experience is the toll of custody battles. Custody battles are hard on everyone, especially if a custody arrangement is made and later changed. Parents going after sole custody can also hurt the children due to the way the parent goes about it (Documentary Central). Children who want a relationship with their non-custodial parent and are not allowed one can feel confusion as well as anger. If the children are caught is a situation of parent alienation the suffering they experience from that is severe and long lasting (Documentary Central). Children are also likely to suffer a variety of physical and emotional problems when their parents are divorcing, which is due to the stress of the divorce suppressing the functioning of the body’s immune system (Lauer & Lauer). Initial reactions to parental separation may include intense anger, self-blame, fears about the future, and loyalty conflicts. Children of divorce also have lower self-esteem and are more likely to be anxious, and depressed, as well as experience social problems and have various emotional and behavioral problems (Lauer & Lauer).

Children from divorced families still experience impacts of the divorce when they become adults. As stated earlier parent alienation causes severe and long lasting suffering (Documentary Central) but adults from divorced families face other impacts as well, such as “Compared to those from intact homes, adults whose parents divorced tend to have lower levels of psychological well-being (higher levels of depression and lower life satisfaction), family well-being (lower marital quality and higher chances of divorce), socioeconomic well-being (lower educational attainment, income, and occupational prestige), and physical health” (Lauer & Lauer). Some even “report lower levels of marital commitment and have more pro-divorce attitudes then those from intact families” (Lauer & Lauer). Additionally, adults from divorced families have less sense of personal power, view their family of origin more negatively, and have poorer relationships with their parents and siblings, these negative impacts on parent-child relationships also occur even if children are already adults when the divorce takes place (Lauer & Lauer). Divorce also tends to reduce attachment to the noncustodial parent, cause lower levels of trust and altruistic love, as well as cause issues and anxieties in intimate romantic relationships, and even cause a premature mortality across the life span (Lauer & Lauer).

Divorce also effects family cohesion and connection. One of the ways this happens is when the members of the family perceive that the divorce has broken up the family, which can be caused when parents force their children to pick sides and siblings choose opposite parents (Documentary Central). Other ways these effects are felt is the increase in life difficulties families experience after the divorce, siblings who previously had a good relationship with each other being torn apart by feuding parents, a decrease in relationship quality with the noncustodial parent, rarely being able to see/visit with certain family members, threats made to stop noncustodial parents from seeking visitation rights and/or custody, and a longing for relationships with removed family members (Documentary Central). Divorce can also end with unfriendly contact and unwanted quarreling between ex-spouses due to the parents wanting contact with their children, which causes erosion of the family cohesion and connection (Lauer & Lauer). Lastly families of divorce do not spend as much quality time together as they used to or even want to, as Lauer & Lauer point out “Nearly half of the ex-spouses spent time together with their children for the first year after divorce, but the number dropped to 30 percent two years later” (Lauer & Lauer).