Parenting Style Essay Example: Spoiling & Sheltering

Parents unquestionably love their children and want what's most desirable for them, but this sometimes leads to parents sheltering their children,  hiding from the world, and wanting to spoil them as a way to express their love for them. Spoiling children will make them grow up being uncomfortable with failure, and will cause them to have virtually no empathy. Sheltering the youth will prohibit them to have the ability to form their own judgments and beliefs. Children might carry on their parents' toxic assumptions and become very closed-minded individuals, carrying on the concept of the other.

The term Othering describes the subtractive action of labeling and defining a person as an inferior native, as someone who belongs to the psychologically subordinate category of “the Other”. In  The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, Bruno’s sister Gretel was compelled to stay home and read books about German history and Anti-semitism during her time spent in Poland. As a consequence of her parents sheltering her, not allowing her to go out into civilization, and gain knowledge about the world and different cultures; she became very discriminatory and had very strong opinions about certain things.

She couldn't form her own opinion because she was a sheltered child. Instead, she followed her bigoted father's beliefs and began to hate Jews. She began to truly believe that Jews are the devil's creation, and thinks that they are to blame for Germany’s lack of fortune. Shmuel was a Jewish prisoner at Auschwitz and Bruno was so influenced by his father’s thoughts that he unhesitantly said that Germany is the greatest country in the world right to his face. Bruno was somewhat unintentionally insensitive at first, but once he began to understand Shmuel’s situation, he started to filter himself better. This proves that, once children have a little bit of freedom, they begin to comprehend the world around them much better.

One could say “ the rich get richer”, but that may not always be the case for rich peoples heirs. Growing up rich is not a terrible thing at all, it allows you to have many opportunities, such as getting a better education, and more resources. However, spoiling children has many downsides. Children grow up being uncomfortable with failure and instantly give up when things don't go their way.

They begin to feel as though the odds are stacked against them as soon as they hear the word “no”. When Bruno was made aware that he was moving, he was very bitter because he had to leave Berlin behind. He had lived in a 4 story house prior to moving to Poland. He could never imagine leaving his house for another. Once he laid his eyes upon his new home, he was filled with sadness and anger to find that his new home only had three floors, he was sad to see that his new home had no “nooks and crannies” to explore and no banister to slide on. Growing up, and getting everything you want without having to work for it gives you a false sense of reality. It stops you from developing a decent work ethic which will cause the child to fall behind once it is time to enter the real world. Spoiling children will also barricade them from relating to other regular people, and have little to no empathy.

How Sheltering Affects

Many children are products of sheltered parenting. Hiding a child from the society is not going to keep them safe. They are going to grow up and become unaware and uneducated of their surroundings. Bruno was living in a house with Nazi soldiers walking in and out of his home, yet he never knew that his country was at war. He lived next to a concentration camp and visited the camp regularly. Shmuel and all the other prisoners wearing striped pajamas were always depressed and malnourished, they all had a slim figure and looked like they haven’t eaten in days.

Bruno was a bystander to their suffering and thought nothing of it because of his lack of understanding. Another event that took place is when Lieutenant Kotler, a German soldier, treated Pavel, the Jewish servant horribly on two occasions. Once when he wanted to help Bruno find a tire for his swing; he called Pavel a word that Bruno wasn’t allowed to use and another time when Pavel dropped some wine, which leads Kotler to beat Pavel to death. And yet Bruno never caught on to the fact that Jews were being mistreated.  His situation isn't ideal, although the things that he complained about were irrelevant to the major issues. Bruno was living near a concentration camp in which Jews were worked to death or burned alive, and while all this saddening commotion was occurring right outside of his home, his main concern was not having any friends to play with.

In conclusion, parents should certainly love their children and spoil them from time to time, but too much of anything can be detrimental to a child. Allowing your children to hear the word “no” every once in a while will build character and will allow them to become more comfortable with failure which will make them more likely to take risks. Taking risks in life is essential because it teaches you valuable lessons and is a large part of the cycle of success. Sheltering children can inflict them with their parents’ toxic views, which in Bruno and Gretel’s case was carrying on the concept of the other, and the “other” being the Jews. Allowing children to enter civilization and make friends from different religions and cultures makes them more open-minded and accepting of other peoples' differences.