The Hardest Day in My Life Essay Example

November 17th of 2012 was a day that seemed to drag on longer than any other day in my life. I spent hours lying in my room, reflecting on the events of the previous night. I had been angry when I barged into my father’s office, demanding to know why he had said that I was a disappointment over the phone. He thought that he had hung up, however those words had repeated through my head all day long. With anger in his voice he asked me “how dare I use that tone with him?” as he not so subtly tried to avoid my question. I retaliated, but to no avail and I ended our argument with just a few words “you are the disappointment.” As I walked to the kitchen for lunch, I contemplated whether I had meant the words or if I should apologize and then finally, I saw my father for the first time since the prior evening. 

My father and I locked eyes from across the kitchen table, his eyes full of shame and mine full of rage. I could not forgive him and all I could hear ringing in my ears was “disappointment.” The silence broke as he started to speak and I immediately shut him out. Nothing could make up for what he had said and nothing he said mattered now. I grabbed my keys and phone and I left without telling anyone of my plans.  I drove to my friend Amber’s home and once I arrived, I received a call from my mother, then my sister. In response to nuisance, I shut my phone off. My mind started to ease as I sliced into the warm waters of the hot tub. Amber asked what was wrong and I told her to leave it be, I needed to clear my mind completely of my father. A few more of my friends, Liam, Eliza and Armando, joined us and for the first time that day an eerie sense of peace settled over me. As day turned into night, Amber asked me to show everyone a video on my phone. Reluctantly I turned the device on, only to see several missed calls and texts telling me one thing, my father had become gravely ill.

Shock and panic surged within me as I gripped my phone in horror. I immediately called my mother; whose words were unintelligible. The only words that I could make out where “he is in the hospital, and he said he is sorry.” My heart sank deeper and deeper into my chest as a surge of emotions flowed through me, confusion, anger, and sadness. As my thoughts become more irrational, all I could think was why is this happening and why now? Was this some sick sign from the universe or just utter coincidence? To this day I will never know. I threw my clothes on over my wet body, informed my friends of what had happened and then I began the longest drive of my life. My mind raced through every possible scenario as I committed several traffic violations to get to the hospital. For thirty long minutes I drove, bobbing and weaving through traffic and all I could think was that the last true statement I said to my father was “you are the disappointment.” 

After I finally arrived, I raced into the emergency room frantically searching for my mother and sister. After what felt like a lifetime of searching, I finally found them holding each other in tears. I tried to get a grasp on the situation through their intelligible weeping, but nothing was coming through. I grabbed my sister and told her to breathe and explain. She said, “he has a kidney stone” and then proceeded to break down again. I stifled a laugh as an almost uneasy sense of calm settled over me, just a kidney stone. I did not understand why such a small issue was the cause of such sorrow. I grabbed her again and as I attempted to comfort her and I asked calmly for her to explain. That is when I understood, through the x-rays of the kidney stone they doctor had found something much worse, kidney cancer. I remember my almost lackadaisical mood immediately turned to sorrow. Once again, I began to dwell back on the prior night’s conversation. In my grief I felt only rage, as if somehow or for some reason this had happened just so I would forgive him. My sister then returned to my mother; she was too hysterical to tell me anymore. I frantically asked the closest nurse for anything and everything but hours passed before we could finally could see him.

My family and I approached his bed, my sister and mother crying, and I was just uneasy. I looked at my father lying there and to this day I am ashamed that my eyes were still full of rage. “You are a disappointment” were the only words I heard, muffling my thoughts of sorrow. Then he weekly turned to me and beckoned me closer. As I approached, I did not know what to expect. I leaned down and he whispered in my ear “I am sorry and can you forgive me?”. I did not immediately respond however; I searched my heart and I chose to forgive him. In that moment I swore to myself I would never let words affect me the way those had. It has been almost seven years and I have held that promise. Unfortunately, life happens and I have experienced several tragedies since that time, but I will always remember that day as the longest 24 hours of my life.