Example Essay on Independence
Is it okay to be Independent? This is a question that I have pondered over many times throughout my life. The answer has changed many times as well, depending on what experience I go through and the people I interact with. The answer to this question cannot be proved through any experiment, nor can it be searched on Google. It has to be an answer that comes from within.
It was the 3rd grade, and my younger self had just started school. It was the first day and I was hoping to be in a class with all my friends, after all, what kid does not want to be in a class with all their friends. I walk into the room, look at everyone, and recognize that I know absolutely no one. Now in retrospect, I know these people, but I’m not friends with any of them. This is of course crushing, but somewhere inside me I know that eventually I will make friends and be okay. Well, that did not happen for a considerably long time. I am pretty sure that this was the age that I began to despise school. Perhaps it does not seem like a crisis, but for a 9 year old that had always had friends around her, it was the end of the world. I remember going home and crying because I didn’t have any friends in class, which looking back on it was rather pathetic, but that is only because my ideas have changed since then.
Since practically from birth up until middle school, I always had to be with someone. I despised being alone. I felt that I needed someone to support me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. I did not want to do anything on my own and I did not want to be alone. However, as middle school approached, and my life began to change once again, my dependence on others began to shift slowly.
My Middle School Experience
In middle school, I completely understood that I was not going to know many kids and that once again, it would take some time to make new friends. However, instead of being social, I entered this weird phase in my life where I became this shy little person. For instance, do you ever remember seeing that one kid in class who worked alone in a group or who stood in the middle of gym class while everyone else played? Yes, well that kid was me the entire middle school experience.
Instead of making friends with other children my age, I became one of those kids who became friends with their teachers, which was rather easy considering I knew them all outside of school. I made 5 real friends my entire middle school career. To you, that may sound quite pitiful, but for me, it was outstanding. At that time, I thought 5 friends were the equivalent to 500 friends, and because I thought that way, I depended on their friendship. I was not as dependent as I was in 3rd grade, but I was still dependent enough in 8th grade, I’m sad to say.
I am not writing this story so that in the end, I can tell you not to rely on friends and that you have to do everything yourself because that would be outrageous. What I am saying is don’t be like I was and prevent yourself from extraordinary experiences just because you think you need friends to enjoy them with. This was the concept that I finally learned in high school.
My freshman year of high school was great in moderation. The majority of my classes were with friends, I made the tennis team, I started taking dance, and I began going out with my friends whenever the opportunity arose. But, like a lot of the time, that passed away as well. My friends started making new friends and excluded me from most outings. One particular time, I recall my former friend asked to come over to my house after school. To me, this was astonishing. I couldn’t believe my friend wanted to hang out with me. Now I know that sounds strange, after all she was my friend, but like I said, she had gained other friends that took most of her attention. Anyways, she came over, but it was not just her.
She had brought my other friend along, so now I had two friends over. It was like freaking Christmas. We had cake, we talked, and was going wonderfully. That is, until she gets a call from one of her other friends. Right there, in front of me, she makes plans to go out with her other friends, even though we had just talked about going out not two minutes before that phone call. Well, she makes plans with her other friends and then leaves immediately. Just to clarify, I am not petty, I understand having other friends and wanting to go out with them as well, but this was just shattering. I wanted to hang out with my friend so desperately, but she just wanted to go out with her other friends. So it was at this moment, something in me clicked and said that it was okay to be alone.
As high school progressed and me and my friend drifted apart, I kept informing myself that it was okay to be alone. I did not need a group of friends or one friend to enjoy my life. Fun could be obtained just as easily by myself. Just like I did not need a friend, I also did not need a boyfriend to keep me occupied and content. I could do all that by myself as well. With this new found independence, I started to thrill in being alone. Everything I did and achieved, I did because of me, not because I relied on someone else. I went to the movies by myself, I achieved all A’s by myself, and won tennis matches all by myself. While I appreciated everyone who supported me along the way, I did not need their support, because I learned that I was my own biggest supporter.
What I want others to understand is that just because I discovered my own independence, it does not mean that I completely cast off friends or any of my relationships. Friends are still a huge part of my life and I still go out with them and enjoy the time we have together. I still flourish in the fact that I can always have fun with the people in my life, but now, I also embrace the fact that I can do all of these by myself and still be remarkably satisfied.
Learning to be independent, has not only made my life more enjoyable in certain areas, but it has also helped me in many other ways. Already having that independence inside me has really helped with my transition into college. Being already okay with being on my own, has made all the difference in my college transition. That’s not saying that I am a soulless person who does not miss my family, cause I do, but I'm okay not having to depend entirely on them. So with that being said, being independent is going to help me all throughout my life. It will continue to help me throughout college as well as when I go off into the world.
Through the years, I have matured from being a crying, dependent, lonely 3rd grader, to being a happy, independent woman.. So, considering everything that I have said, is it okay to be independent? Well for me, as of right now and probably for the rest of my life, the answer will be yes bitch, it is.
