Essay Sample On Forgiveness

One of the most challenging things in life is to forgive someone. Forgiving someone and meaning it is a difficult task to do mostly because the people who got hurt don’t feel as if the ones who hurt them deserve it. What people don’t know is that forgiveness isn’t for the ones who hurt you, it’s for yourself. People also tend to forget that just because someone apologizes to you doesn’t mean you have to forgive them. Forgiveness takes time; it's not an overnight thing, but never forgiving someone can hurt you in the long run rather than help you.

The reason why forgiveness is so hard is that people will hold grudges. They think that holding this grudge will either punish the one who hurt them or protect them from getting hurt again. The only thing holding a grudge will do is harm you, not the other person. It disrupts your ability to cope with or resolve your issues and keeps you stuck in the past. Forgiveness can give the feeling of freedom because you choose to separate yourself from the negative outcome you had experienced in the past. It might not happen immediately because, like all things, it takes time for you to realize that you chose to get better and move on rather than stay in the past.  

Now don’t think that just because you forgive someone it excuses what they have done or that you should forget about it. Knowing the differences between forgiving and forgetting is something everybody should know. Forgetting means believing what happened didn’t happen and that’s not a healthy way to live. The reason you need to remember what happened to you is so that you can learn from the experience you gained no matter how painful or small it may be. Forgetting about something doesn’t make it better but forgiving them can help the wound they have given you. You also do not have to trust the person who hurt you just because you have forgiven them. Trust can be rebuilt but that doesn’t mean it has to be the same type of trust you had in that person before or that it has to be built back up that’s completely up to you not other people. 

Forgiving is hard but not impossible. It might come naturally to you or it might not but know that forgiving someone is more beneficial to you than it is to the other person. Know you don’t have to forgive someone right away or that you have to forgive them if they apologize to you. Remember forgiveness is for you and only you, never for the other person. You are the one who will feel something positive they might but guilt is more to what they will be feeling for what they have done. It might seem that it is for them but you are the ones choosing to overcome your negative experience and moving on with your life. That’s what true forgiveness is. I know this because I had to learn how to forgive others after they hurt me.